S7|E8-9 (I tried to resist this)

I was gonna stop blogging every episode because I felt like it was distracting me from “real writing,” and I figured that everyone was probably tired of seeing this pop up. But then I realized the compulsive need is so strong that I don’t care! So I’m just gonna compact it into one past for the previous 2 episodes. Here goes.

1. All of them walking suspiciously down the middle of the street. This is already so dramatic.
2. Isn’t it cheating to put a dream sequence in the episode preview? Of course Caleb didn’t actually get hit.
3. Yeah Caleb, you are “really fine.”
4. YES ARIA YOU DID DO THIS TO YOURSELF.
5. Poor Emily is always around for super awkward and significant moments with couples
6. It’s kinda really nice to see someone finally struggling financially in this show, even if it only happened because of intense sabotage.
7. What kind of shitty kids would mess with their teacher after she goes out for a mental breakdown?!
8. “Who’d have thought we’d both end up back at RHS?” Literally everyone.
9. Grunwald is such a bad omen tbh
10. Apparently getting someone to ransack someone’s office and bringing bottles of whiskey is the way to get things done around here.
11. Who doesn’t have a connection to Radley at this point honestly?
12. Why do these students know so much about Ali?!
13. This show would be like 1 season long if we always had someone whose nose bled whenever someone bad was around. Can we keep Grunwald?
14. As if they really call teachers to the principal’s office like that.
15. “It amazes me how cruel teenagers can be sometimes,” says the principle of a high school where students are droppin’ like flies
16. The girls were class of 2012? We’re older than them? Ew.
17. “And… what exactly are you saying?” Seriously, Spence. Hannah is losing her cool and going to get everybody in trouble.
18. “Curb the perve or the bottle walks.” Who have these girls become?
19. This guy’s Christian Bale as Batman voice and talk about buying booze and hookers with social security is a bit too much. And this weird human nature/family speech?
20. Ugh I am so not on board for Emily and Paige getting back together. Do they even have a couple’s name? NO. Because nobody cares.
21. Way to be on trend with the Olympics talk. I’m so sure you’re talented enough for that. Remember when you tried to drown Em because she was better than you?
22. “We’re gonna need more wine.” Season 7 in one sentence.
23. My dad taught me how to open doors with credit cards like that. I’m obviously the next Pretty Little Liar.
24. SERIOUSLY?! The super dramatic hiding under desk scene from the preview was her hiding from the janitor?
25. ARIA IS FIANCE OF THE YEAR. She literally traded their wedding in for his trip to Columbia. My heart can’t handle this.
26. Hannah’s got a look like she’s gonna do something stupid and they’re just gonna let her leave?!
27. She’s talking pretty big game for someone in ankle length boot cut jeans. Where’s the flood, Han?
28. How are any of them okay with her going “off the grid?”
29. YOU COULDN’T HAVE GIVEN US THIS ONE HALEB MOMENT
30. AND THEN THAT EZRIA GOODBYE KISS THAT WAS SO CLEARLY A GOODBYE KISS
31. Paige stop stalking Em no one cares
32. Sitting in the dark staring at your perfect princess wedding dress is not healthy behavior
33. I feel like we’re being baited with these baby pictures to think that Spencer is Mary’s baby and I WILL NOT FALL FOR IT NO MATTER HOW CONVINCING THE INTERNET IS
34. I cannot even comment on that preview because I feel so cheated by last week’s preview and so underwhelmed by this entire show. Okay, next episode.
35. COOL HANNAH ITS NOT LIKE EVERY TIME YOU DO ANYTHING ALONE SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS
36. lol lemme just google him, nice detective work Spence
37. How do they still think this foo is alive and in transit?
38. It’s not the right time and also you’re very pretty but you’re also short and old, Marco
39. I want a job that enables me to eat cake for breakfast.
40. Man, Em and Sabrina are going down the tubes.
41. Do you ever wonder if  these girls have literally anything to do other than track down documents and stalk people to look in their trash?
42. All these high school scenes got me like #tbt
43. Oh thank God Aria and Jason from the prview is a flashback
44. Jeez they were an actual couple? I’m weirdly okay with that…
45. Can we talk about how we apparently wear flannels and joggers to job interviews?
46. I really felt like Noel is too  obvious and I’m trying to resist but ugh
47. “How did we not put this together sooner?” -All of us since 2010
48. I like how Emily has one second of hesitation where you can see her not want to break the law AGAIN. But I suppose these things pass cause, you know, yolo
49. Spencer doesn’t seem to be worried about how there’s gonna be a close up video of her smashing that camera
50. Um send help I’m starting to kinda like Aria and Jason pretending to be a couple
51. Cool Hanna smashing up drugs like nothing bad could possibly happen
52. IF SHE DRUGS HERSELF ON ACCIDENT I AM 500% DONE WITH THIS SHOW
53. Do people really keep incriminating flash drives in their bedrooms? And why does Maya have a file?
54. Dude if Holly was right and Maya is somehow gonna come back I’m gonna kill someone
55. GIRLS SERIOUSLY WHY WOULD YOU WAIT FOR HANNAH WHEN YOU CLEARLY HAVE EVIDENCE LIKE OBVIOUSLY HANNAH IS GONNA BE ON BOARD
56. *Casually drugs drink in clear sight of everyone in bar*
57. Awh Sabrina you are so irrelevant rn
58. Middle of a huge storm with total game changing evidence? Definitely a good time to split up.
59. She’s pushing this beer way too hard. It’s so obvious it hurts.
60. I hate that I find Noel so attractive. And I extra hate that Hanna didn’t do anything when he steals her only bargaining piece back.
61. Of course the power is out. This would be a good time to watch video of yourself getting tortured.
62. Jason is so respectful and handsome and in love with her ugh
63. 10 points for Spencer immediately grabbing a huge steak knife when someone breaks in
64. Why had nobody copied the content of that flash drive? Google Drive that shit!
65. All this romantic candlelight and calling of the exes…
66. Why do I have a bad feeling that Aria did something bad and that’s why she’s crying?
67. HANNA WE DO NOT JUST ATTACK PEOPLE WITH METAL STICKS
68. There are so many exes in the preview. And Jenna with a gun, which is totally not a bad idea or anything.
69. And of course someone is gonna get shot.
70. Currently so frustrated with this show that I’m nit even sad about next week being the last for a while. I need a break. Or 5 drinks.