How PLL S7|E7 "Original G'A'ngsters" sucked my will to live (and other similar thoughts)

200_s

  1. Previously on Pretty Little Liars, A.D. proves that the girls have only gotten easier to manipulate with time and Sara redeemed herself slightly and then (unsurprisingly) died.
  2. The Nicole scene from weeks ago being in this flashback means it for sure is coming back up. Red flag.
  3. Oh man, they are so in for it this episode. (I said that out loud and now I have to explain to Dad why they’re in for it ugh)
  4. I like how they’re giving necklaces like they’re all in solidarity when really it’s like: Spencer and Hanna *Unemployed and single* Em *College dropout bartender and single* Ali *work situation unclear/being hunted by dead ex-husband* Aria *future best-selling author engaged to future bestselling author*
  5. Aria’s all: You’re all gonna be up there with me cause I’m the only one with anything to live for LOL
  6. If I were those cops walking in, I would arrest them just for looking that guilty. Like, if I wasn’t already sure those girls were up to something, I am now.
  7. Jenna literally only exists to cause a pity-party scene.
  8. Backround crime scene person “She slipped and hit her head, they don’t suspect foul play.” HA.
  9. I forget that Em sleeps with every girl in town so she’s like always linked to victims.
  10. Did they all forget that blind people have killer hearing? Hellooooo talk about this later
  11. Em’s mom trying to keep up with her is a hotter, fitter version of all of us.
  12. “Promise me you’ll keep it low-key” is what they say before every party that ends in disaster ever.
  13. Spoby’s still got mad chemistry tho
  14. This is the part where I had to explain that Toby is Spencer’s ex and Jenna is his step sister that used to force him to do stuff with her and that’s why the girls blinded her and I realized how twisted and awful I am for even liking this show.
  15. “Like, sex things?” Yes, Dad. Also I regret everything that has led me to this moment.
  16. If I were trying to rekindle my incestuous non-consensual relationship with my step-bro, this is def how I would do it…
  17. CALLED IT.
  18. “That’s your address.” DUH, SPENCE.
  19. I hate myself for liking Jason’s Humboldt look.
  20. I secretly love Mary, but Jason’s assertiveness is comforting. This show has lowered my standards so much that I’m pleased when anyone is decisive about pretty much anything.
  21. “You’re here now, but I never know how long you’ll stay.” Ali’s abandonment issue struggle is so real. Sad.
  22. Does anyone really think Yvonne wants Spencer of all people there with her in the hospital?
  23. Ezra @ wedding plans is also all of us. I’m getting anxiety just looking at this.
  24. #EzriaWedding apparently means deciding if they should elope in a vineyard in Tuscany. WTF. Fitzgerald probs.
  25. Here Hanna, do this dangerous thing all alone cause that’s never gotten you in trouble before.
  26. THANK GOD ITS JUST CONVENIENTLY CALEB SHEESH MY HEART
  27. Um it was so obviously not an accident. There hasn’t been an accident in Rosewood since… *this is where I paused it for like 3 minutes trying to think of even one accident ever and I came up with nothing.*
  28. Spoby tag-teaming. Haleb tag-teaming. Ezria tag-teaming-for-life. Hmmm.
  29. “You didn’t kill Sara… Did you?” Solid question, actually.
  30. Jason meet-up?!
  31. Noel’s all “I always knew you’d never get out of Rosewood” as though he is not currently back in Rosewood for no apparent reason other than creep on everyone.
  32. OMG THEY CLEARLY HOOKED UP. Rosewood is such a cesspool. Guaranteed every single one of these people has chlamydia.
  33. Wait he was in Ethiopia… Where was Nicole again? This has to be the link.
  34. Aria’s all WELL THE GOOD NEWS IS HE’S DEAD SO AT LEAST HE DOESN’T HAVE THE MONEY.
  35. Caleb is a masseuse too and I’m not even surprised.
  36. Hanna always has time for a bitchy comment before her action plan.
  37. No laptop, just papers. #millennialprobs.
  38. THAT’S THE FILE TOBY HAS OMG. IS THIS GUY TOBY? IS HE A AGAIN?!?
  39. Of course it’s Noel.
  40. Lottery alert? At least Em finally got better at lying.
  41. Come on, what wouldn’t Noel break and enter for?
  42. Ew, remember that time Aria dated him? These girls get around, man.
  43. Hanna’s all HI CALEB NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT ABOUT MY LEFT HAND LOVE ME ALREADY
  44. I am both the bachelorette party girls and Emily’s annoyed mom
  45. When did Em become the emotionally stable friend?
  46. “Well, this is nice.” Is it though, Ali?
  47. ARIA WHO THOUGHT THIS DINNER WAS A GOOD PLAN.
  48. Dude Yvonne’s got a rockin bod when she isn’t wearing politician’s-socially-awkward-child clothes
  49. Toby I’m so sorry I dragged you into the middle of this even though one time you were A and pretended to be dead and I got institutionalized, remember that? #tbt
  50. “What do you know that I don’t?” and Spencer’s like boy you have no idea.
  51. SHE’S SETTING HIM FREE LIKE A BEAUTIFUL BUFF BUTTERFLY HOW IS THIS NOT MAKING HER IRRESISTIBLE TO HIM
  52. Even Mary talking about food sounds creepy tbh
  53. Jason don’t be so upset, literally everybody manipulates Ali.
  54. This is such a parent trap scene with both Dilaurentis twins.
  55. THAT’S WHY THEY FAKED THE DEATH I KNEW IT WASN’T JUST SOME TRANS SYMBOLISM ABOUT HOW SHE’S CHARLOTTE NOW THAT WAS SO CRINGEY
  56. What’s so important about her having a storm cellar?
  57. Remember that episode where all the drunk moms locked themselves in someone’s storm cellar though? That was the best part of this entire damn show.
  58. Gosh Aria can’t you see Em has to babysit Wine Mom 2.0?
  59. Aria’s all EZRA WANTS TO ELOPE EVEN THOUGH I LITERALLY JUST TOLD YOU LOSERS YOU’D BE BRIDESMAIDS #SORRYNOTSORRY
  60. Emily wins the best friend award times 100
  61. They all just keep symbolically touching their BFF necklaces. #plottools
  62. Caleb’s all YOU DON’T NEED TO TELL ME HOW BREAKUPS ARE GURL I’VE HAD HELLA BREAKUPS LATELY AND THEY’RE ALL YOUR FAULT
  63. “I’m not talking about him.” lol oh
  64. Oh Em’s mom, you’ll get socialized alright, a little slice like you.
  65. Spencer’s face when Toby shows up gives me life.
  66. Toby: “I just wanted to be honest with you.” Spencer: *shits entire brick wall*
  67. OH GOD DON’T SAY HE BUILT IT FOR YOU.
  68. HE BUILT IT FOR YOU.
  69. HE’S TELLING YOU THIS SO HE CAN TELL YOU HE LOVES HER MORE.
  70. “SEE YA.”
  71. I thought setting someone free is supposed to make them love you even more?
  72. Me: *burns Spoby shirt at the stake and drowns in a puddle of tears*
  73. Hanna is that child that looks in the pantry and says there’s no food without moving anything around. Like, emotionally.
  74. UM CREEPY UNDERGROUND A-ISH LAYER
  75. There is NOT another baby in this family I can’t deal.
  76. “Well that’s great, now you have another cousin who wants to kill us.” SERIOUSLY.
  77. Aria is way too happy rn, something terrible is clearly about to happen to her.
  78. How does she already have a wedding dress?! Is this how quick these things happen?
  79. A KNOCK ON THE DOOR NO I’M NOT READY FOR NICOLE TO RUIN EVERYTHING YET
  80. This is irritatingly predictable.
  81. Oh plot twist, the FBI is actually not here for my murderous fiance but for my dead ex-gf?
  82. “Damn, my hair looked good.” Hanna, you and I both know your extension game was atrocious in those days.
  83. OKAY YEAH MOM LOOKED FOR YOU, BUT SHE ALSO BURIED YOU ALIVE DO NOT GET DISTRACTED ALI
  84. OH SOMEONE BAD WAS CLEARLY IN MY CAR QUICK LETS ALL GET INSIDE IT-Spence
  85. YOUR STUPID SPACE CAR LOCKED ME IN-Everyone else
  86. I bet the house is gonna blow up instead.
  87. Orrrr it’s a countdown to a text?
  88. CALLED IT.
  89. This writing on the window thing is so Season 4 vintage.
  90. Clearly they took Aria’s file because her life is going too well.
  91. Noel Kahn as AD seems like a cop-out, he better be helping someone less obvious. Cece’s mystery sibling, I guess.
  92. OH JEEZ THAT CRAZY WOLF EYED LADY IS BACK NEXT WEEK OF COURSE
  93. What is that horrible dramatic scream car accident? Caleb will not die. He just won’t.
  94. I’m just gonna cuddle in this blanket and pretend my emotions have not all turned to mush.

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s