Sophomore slump or comeback of the year?

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We travel like gypsies, only with worse luck and far less gold. We’re the kids you used to love, but then we grew old.

When I’m in the right mood, I take out the current Fall Out Boy CD and replace it with an older, angstier Fall Out Boy CD. I recommend using this method when you are below a 4 or above a 7 on the feelings scale. I did this today, before my frantic attempt to simultaneously enter the freeway, eat a Wendy’s baked potato, and talk to my sister on bluetooth ended with me 50 minutes in the opposite direction of my destination (only kind of a metaphor for my life). This happens more than it should for a grownasswoman like myself. The thing is that it’s hard to be annoyed when your “inconvenience” ends with you lost somewhere beautiful like Dana Point. What’s another hour on the road if you’re driving up Pacific Coast Highway?

My point is that it’s pretty easy to be happy when you wanna be.My summer hiatus has really turned out to be less ignoring everyone and more feeling okay saying no to a things (and, consequently, saying yes to more spontaneous things). I would describe this time in my life as a series of unbelievable amounts of driving and working so much that I miss barbecues being thrown for me. But still!

The gypsy life is suiting me, these days.  You find yourself having a lot of fun when you don’t care where you have to drive to work from. It’s like, when you accept that everything is going to be a massive inconvenience for you, it gets easy to not care. Dragging my grumpy butt to the beach early in the morning to write before a double shift makes it totally worth it to do my make-up on the car ride there. A quick trip to Aliso Viejo to visit with BFF and her boyfriend can easily end up lasting 3 days with a surprise catsitting task. And while you’re at it, why not stay up for a 3 hour phone call to South Korea while consuming an entire pint of Gelato and half a bottle of wine while trying to con a cat into loving you? What’s wrong with taking an Uber even when you’ve only had one drink and are clearly within walking distance just so he can take you through the Del Taco drive thru? With throwing up in a pub bathroom when you were just trying to get BFF birthday drunk, then waking up and working like 8 shifts in a row? With taking yourself out on your days off for make-up shopping and a good view? Sometimes you gotta shatter your phone completely sober or tell yourself out loud that you have a degree and you aren’t allowed to let customers make you cry anymore. But sometimes you get the cat to cuddle with you for a couple minutes and theres nothing you can do but sit there in awe (and snapchat it, duh…)

So like, idk. I just wanna deal with stressful family stuff and start paying off debt and do embarrassing things but not bother to be embarrassed about them. And be annoyed with annoying people but let the people who want to make me happy. And write some of it down. These are things I want to remember.That’s where I’m at. And sometimes all it takes is the right person saying “I can’t get enough of you, dude.” to make you feel like someone worth saying that to. So, Fall Out Boy, are we growing up or just going down? Maybe a little bit of both. But I’ve got this weird awareness that these are probably going to be the times we look back on and realized that we learned a lot about ourselves when we got out of our way and just let ourselves be lost a little longer.

xx, Tab.

 

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