Yeah, whatever.

ATTENTION, MY BRAIN IS TURNING INTO MUSH PLZ SEND HELP

I just wrote a long explanation as to why, but I deleted it because it doesn’t matter. I’m dwelling too much on all the things that needs to get done and, as a consequence, getting nothing done. it is infuriating. When an essay that should take you two hours max is taking you days, something is wrong. So, you know what? I’m waving a white flag for the weekend. No more classic literature until I stop feeling the need to go into fetal position when I think about it (at least for the weekend). I wanna try the thing that Professor Sean encouraged me to do in the middle of all this shitty stuff that’s been happening. He suggested journaling, or at least taking notes. I like that, because I kind of view all of this stuff as a weird study of like, being human. So when I got off work today, here’s what I did:

  • Sat in my car for several minutes, listening to T Swift and staring into the abyss until I was mentally ready to drive.
  • Decided on Chipotle for early dinner and then made a series of wrong turns trying to get the Chipotle I’ve been to at least a billion times.
  • Saw someone from high school AND DIDN’T DIE OR DO ANYTHING AWKWARD. GO ME.
  • Put on red lipstick while singing “I got that red lip cla-ssic thing that you liiiike”
  • Went to school for literally no reason, just cause I actually miss being able to just sit at school.The library is like my actual home and the green tables are like my vacation home. I also learned that the squirrels are ingrates and will not accept your love/Chipotle corn.
  • Was joined by a lovely human. Had to monitor the quickness with which I was eating to make sure I wasn’t being disgusting. Complained about people and felt good.
  • Was delighted to watch said lovely human google “Attractive twin males” because we decided since everyone is getting engaged and we are good people who deserve to celebrate too, so the only reasonable way to do so is to go try on wedding dresses. And the only way we could make that feasible is obviously to tell the sales lady we’re marrying identical twins in a double wedding. So clearly we need to find a good (but not too good photo of potential suitors as evidence. Then she finds a pair who are gorgeous but “kind of look famous,” then shows me a photo of the MOTHA EFFIN HEMSWORTH BROTHERS, she’s not even being ironic. Soooo, do I get to marry Thor or…?
  • Went to the library, saw other lovely people, sat at a computer to work and ended up reading the blog. And currently I am getting kicked out of the library so I guess I gotta go? I’m gonna go socialize like a real actual human maybe.

MORAL OF THE STORY BYE ACADEMIC SELF SEE YOU NEVER (Maybe tomorrow. Whatevs.)

xx, Tab

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