Suck it up, Buttercup

Hi wow I haven’t posted in a month. This blog has basically ended up a rant about writing and life? Which is cool even though there is literally nothing interesting about reading about a writer writing (or attempting to do so) unless you are also a writer attempting to write. I’m really just trying to focus on the process. But here’s a little secret about writing: IT KIND OF SUCKS. And you go to writing conferences and these famous authors are like “Hey writing is awful” and the crowd is like “YAAAASSS IT IS WE HATE IT” and somehow everyone leaves pumped to do it? But eventually everyone is like

Yeah. I’m there. I am Ron Weasley. Why do I like doing this? DO I like doing this? If I like it, shouldn’t I be, like, doing it?

Here’s where I’m at. I have one more semester of undergrad. My creative writing professor/advisor/mentor/lifecoach Sean gave me an extension on my Great Author Immersion directed study class (bless his heart) for the summer so I could really focus on producing good work. He did a lot to customize this course into something that would work best for me and I’m super grateful. So naturally I show my appreciation by just totally freezing up and not writing anything worth turning in for most of the summer.

I think I’ve finally figured out why I’m freaking out though! Aside from the general distraction of work and family stuff, I am just a few months away from applying to grad schools and getting ready to change my life completely. Sean wants me to consider far away schools. Really good schools. Like, the best schools. And these are the last stories I will ever turn in for undergrad. After this, it’s all about revision and creating my manuscript and other intensely terrifying things. Seriously, it’s no wonder I’m not getting anything done. I’m pretty much at the point now where I’m just like SERIOUSLY TAB JUST TURN SOMETHING IN AND REVISE LATER, which is actually probably the best thing I could do right now. Wasn’t I just talking about not fetishizing the process? And as always, writing a blog post when I should be doing something moderately important. I feel a little better now. Today’s process is eating ice cream and listening to Nick Jonas and forcing myself to suck it up. We do what we gotta.

xx, Tab