Today is finally spring! It’s felt like it for a while here in AZ, of course, but there’s something about the finality of the changing seasons. Winter is supposed to be the time to slow down, but for the most part, this season has been one of the busiest I’ve ever had. I traveled for a conference, a bridal shower, two bachelorette parties, and a wedding. I taught and waited tables and got viciously ill in a hotel in Missouri and drove to California and back four times. I lost all semblance of the carefully curated routine that keeps me waking in the small hours of the morning to write and heading to the gym and folding laundry before the pile takes over my life.
But I also spent days on the couch with my love, crocheting a sweater while we watched Rings of Power and all of the Lord of the Ring and The Hobbit extended editions in a row. I crafted all of my Christmas presents. I tried new recipes. I went to faculty happy hours. I slept on the floor of my living room with my pup after his surgery. I played in the snow twice when I hadn’t touched it in years. I rediscovered bookstagram and started making time to read again. I fell in love with (then lost track of) the “Slow Living” movement. I started (and lost) a sourdough starter… (RIP). I read about herb gardening and made hopeful plans for the spring. I discovered the joys of lofi background videos and cozy gaming. I started rewatching Pretty Little Liars. I dressed up and went to the Renaissance Faire like I’ve been wanting to for years. I released the need to prep my entire semester at once and started prepping only a week or two in advance. I had a sweet, cozy, homebody engagement. I came back to blogging, for no other reason than that it’s fun and I wanted to.
My instinct is to look back on this winter and say oh my God, that was nuts. But how can I when it also held these pockets of delight! Staying busy has kept me crazed, sure, but it has also made me fiercely defensive of my peace. My deep and undying need to be, above all, cozy. I have been stressed beyond reasonable belief, but I have also relaxed harder than I have in years. Not having routine made me struggle with productivity, but it also cracked open spaces for rest and creativity to poke through. I think letting go of the need to constantly be productive and realizing that the world didn’t crash down around me because of it was the next important thing I needed to learn. I’m going into spring feeling a little fatigued, yet rested in some ways. I feel energized to spring clean my life into an unrecognizable state, and I also feel motivated to do nothing and not feel guilt about it. When I learn how to balance both at the same time, it’s over for you hoes. 😉
xx, Tab
TabithaTypes 